You can’t always get what you want for Valentine’s Day, but you can help the process.
When was the last time you got a gift and thought, “Where did that come from...”
Like the time I got green apple glitter body lotion for my birthday. It was equally as confusing as it was nauseating.
There’s no science to gift giving, it’s an art that doesn’t come naturally to everyone.
If you’re like me, you love coming up with a great gift! Seeing that look of, “How’d you know!” on someone’s face is the most satisfying feeling.
It’s so fun to know that you truly connected enough with them to figure out a gift that would say, “I see you, I know you, and I get you.”
But have you considered the art of gift receiving?
People don’t talk about this one very much, but it’s equally as important in your relationships to be a good receiver.
Think about it, people in your life want to give you presents - especially when there’s added pressure around holidays like Valentine’s Day.
They’re scanning through gift guides, nervously trying to choose something the perfect gift that’s going to match the commitment level of your relationship.
It’s like high stakes Deal or No Deal. Choose the case, hold your breath, and hope you don’t blow it.
I’d like you to consider some other options that take them out of this situation altogether.
There’s this weird expectation that something is only romantic if it’s a surprise. Better yet, something a man intuitively knows without needing to ask.
But when you have these expectations, you might not get what you want for Valentine’s Day and you’ll be disappointed and he will feel like a failure.
This needs to stop. So I’m giving you a few ways to take the pressure off your Valentine and get what you really want on February 14th!
Drop A Hint!
I’m not talking about a riddle they need to solve in order to find the next clue that will eventually lead them to you saying you want “something nice” for Valentine’s Day.
Relationships aren’t scavenger hunts, it’s more like a game of iSpy. You need to be direct without completely giving it away.
If you want something simple, say something like, “I know some people think getting flowers is cheesy, but I think it’s sweet.”
Another way to be more specific is by using wishlists or gift boxes when you’re shopping online.
Ours is really cute and fun! When you find your piece of jewelry on our product page, like the Heart Charmed Bracelet, you’ll see a little gift box. Click on the box and up pops a beautiful card with a picture of the piece you want. It says that someone (you) found this piece and love it.
You can type in the email address of the person you want to send it to and they can purchase the item right from the email. How easy is that?
Begin a Conversation
If you have expectations, you need to make them clear. Otherwise, you’re playing emotional “chicken” and no one ends up winning that game. Remember, the last thing he wants is to screw this up, so make it easy for him if you want something specific.
Before you talk about it, get clear on what you want first and why. Do you really want jewelry?
Flowers? A romantic weekend getaway? Why do you want those things and how important is it to you?
Once you understand where you’re coming from, start the conversation by asking, “What would you like to do for Valentine’s Day? I have a few thoughts, but I want to know yours first.”
My husband and I did this recently on a plane traveling to Denver to see our son, Zak. We each had ideas as to what we wanted to do on this trip but hadn’t had a chance to share them yet. He was focused on a lunch that he was having with Zak and his employers. I was focused on having deep conversations with Zak (a mom can still dream). Not exactly in the same swim lane.
That flight was one of the most memorable conversations for me. It was just about us, what we wanted to do, and how we could come together as a family while still including those other things. And yes, I did get one of those precious conversations and lots of bonding time!
It seems so simple, but it is hard for some people to voice what they want. Instead of seeing it as a possible rejection of what you want, think of it as a chance to understand their point of view and come to an agreement that works for both of you.
When someone cares about you, this is easy to do!
Practice Being a Good Receiver
Now that your expectations are defined and communicated, it’s time to release them.
You’ve done what you can do, and now it’s up to you to be thankful and supportive of the plans he makes for Valentine’s Day.
Will you get exactly what you want? Maybe not.
But the important thing is the reason behind the gift giving and receiving.
Yes, we all want diamonds and fancy vacations, right?
But the thing that makes holidays like this so special is spending them with someone you love.
Happy Valentine's Day!